Clementi in me

I feel melancholic today but that's not because I visited to the National Museum(although I did).

In a spur of a moment (after the museum trip), I stopped at Clementi. This was the place where I spent my childhood years in; where I was brought up and grew up happily in. I still go to Clementi every other day on the way to NUS, but today, I returned to where my flat used to be.
It's hard to imagine one being sentimental towards rows upon rows of uniform blocks of flats and what's more the uninspiring look of HDB flats built in the 80s, but it was where my memories were.

So eight years after moving to a new place, I returned to visit my old home.

On the way back, I walked past Pei Tong Primary School. Ahh...my primary school. She was recently renovated and rebuilt as a high-rise school. God... she looked beautiful. A major part of my primary school years (unhealthy) consisted of thoughts of how undesirable the design of the school was and secretly hoping for a major change. I now felt vindicated. The old design of the school or the lack of was an absurdly big, over-sized grass (mud) pitch that made the quarters of the school look cramped and deprived. It made the walk from the front gates of the school to the assembly hall-cum-canteen a daily torture. Now she is proportionately shaped, everything looks orderly and pristine. Perfect. But somehow, I did not feel as happy as I thought I would be...

I moved on and walked a good five minutes to my old home. The two coffeeshops along the way although there, but most of the old stalls which I had often bought from was gone. The design of the coffeeshops looked like some generic modernised (in a distasteful manner) coffeeshop in Singapore.

Somewhere along the way, I realized that there would be changes to my old neighbourhood too, and I started to get eager to know what she looked like. I was not disappointed. She is no longer what she was. She is cleaner, brighter and shinier. The beautiful coat of new paint on the block of flats made her look attractive and lovely. The remodelled playground downstairs looked as even more inviting as ever. Only the fact that I was now an adult somehow prevented me from running gleefully towards the playground as I did in my younger days. I then walked upstairs, wanting to steal a glance at the door of my former flat.

Feelings of familiarity came rushing back as I climbed up to the second floor, sometime I used to do every day. I moved slowly, wanting to savour the mundane feeling of walking up this flight of stairs. Once on top, from the corridors, the opposite bank of the Sungei Ulu Pandan canal looked as aloof and creepy as ever, as the tall trees and palm-like trees from both banks obscure the view of the old unknown, short and square building from view. Ha...I didn't grow out of this feeling even till now. I walked down the corridor and saw that the decor of the flat has been changed from drab grey colour to a bright green and blue combination of decor. Right... an Indian family had bought the flat from my parents...

Feeling nostalgic, I decided to take a walk around. The pedestrian bridge that connected Clementi Ave 4 and Sunset way now had a colourful overhead shelter; something I used to think would be smart to have. The hot morning walk to the Sunset way market or the fear of lightning strikes during bouts of torrent weather in my childhood days were consigned to history. I crossed the bridge and went in the direction of Sunset way market. Or where it used to be. Now, a posh Japanese restaurant stood in its stead, and the previous familiar atmosphere of a neighbour wet market was replaced by a bohemian feel. Posh new-themed eateries now sprout over the whole front area of Sunset way.

Suddenly, I felt overwhelmed. Upset and betrayed. I turned around and went back, with tears starting to swell. The whole place felt unfamiliar; I was a stranger in my old neighbourhood. Why had the place changed so much in eight years? Life seems to be gone in a flash without my acknowledgement... so many changes...is this what living is about? Witnessing changes after changes? I was furious... my thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a mother walking towards me with her child. Then I understood.

As much as I hated the change, as I am now taller, stronger and wiser, she is now...different... and better in her own ways. But there is some consolation. Things have definitely changed, but some had remained. The jogging track parallel to the canal was still there, although the litter bins were looking a little neglected. The kindergarten opposite the road that I once studied (played) in was still standing in the void deck. It brought a tiny smile to my face...more than twenty years and still going on strong...with the PAP flag fluttering proudly in the winds. Well, some things never change...